Ain't No Rest For the Wicked
by Zagger the Bloody Angel
Summary: Madara succeeded yet he failed. He succeed for he used the Eternal Tsukiyomi. He failed in that it didn't hit the moon. It hit me and instead of putting me into a dream world, it snapped me out of one. Now I'm in a world with little hope of ever seeing my friends again and where my life is in danger every waking moment. Oh well. Ain't No Rest For the Wicked. Matrix Cross as well
1. Out of the Matrix, To the Borderlands!

**A/N**: New story, yes I know. I've been debating on this one for a little over three years now and I finally said, fuck it! Let's do this! My only problem was I could never figure out how to start it and now I'm like OH SON OF... THAT'S HOW! Anyways you get the point.

So just to let you know outside this first part the rest of the story is going to be done in third person. Just a fair heads up as there is no way I could do this story in first person. I'd be Mordecai.

* * *

I knew it was a dumb ideal soon as I did it but there was no choice left. Madara had practically won as he beat Sasuke and I for the second time even with help from my father, Kakashi-sensei, Lee, Gaara and even Orochimaru and Obito. Go figure on that one but that's neither here nor there.

Just as he was about to cast the Eternal Tsukiyomi I had the bright ideal of taking the full force of it to give everyone more time. No one could stop me as they were all still just standing their, trying to figure out a way to stop it, and I acted.

All I saw when it hit was a spiraling flash of red and back and then there was nothing. Nothing but the constant sound of beeps. And annoying sound to say the least.

I kind of figure Eternal Tsukiyomi would be nice but I guess Madara is a prick because his world of peace is nothing but darkness and fucking beeping! I hate the god forsaken beeping! Reminds me of being in a hospital!

Then a thought hits me. Those are hospital beeps! We've won! We defeated Madara! Yes! I would have liked to have been there to help in stopping that badass mother fucker and deck him good once before he was ended but in the end I helped save the world.

Sure I used myself as a scapegoat to save everyone...

Soon I almost wanted to scream out as I heard a hissing sound around me and an immense pressure placed on me as something around me was sucked out. It wasn't the most painful feeling I have had the delight of going through but it was up there as feeling as if something was trying to suck the very air around me away.

My eyes snap open and I shoot up, breathing heavily. Or at least I tried to and slammed my head into this thick steel door with some sort of high density glass surrounding my being.

"Son of a...!" I shouted in pain as that bump hurt like hell when I begin to note my surroundings and all my pain vanished at the sight before. "What the fuck?"

There were thousands of glass and steel pods surrounding me, all connected to a massive monitoring machine. And each pod was filled with this grayish gold liquid surrounding... People. And not just any people.

These were people I knew. Sakura, Hinata, Lee, Chouji... All my friends. And there were hundreds if not thousands of people that I didn't even know.

I wasn't sure what was happening but I could see that mostly everyone was breathing. The few that weren't...

There pods were drained, in a very similar manner to mine, and a cord detached itself from their spinal column before a claw came and took them to another location that was beyond my sight. The only questions were why was I seeing all of this and...

Damn Hinata's breast are big and her nipples!

That's when one of the claws grabbed my pod and snapped me out of my horny stupor. All the other, more prominent questions begun to flood my head as it pulled my tube out like where was I going and what was going to happen to me and my friends.

"Hey!" I slam my fist against the glass top, cracking it the machine claw begun to take me away like all the others. "What the hell is going on here?!"

I was ready to pound on it some more and break out when I noted two things. One, I was not heading to the same direction that all the corpses had been taken. Two, why had I not noted Tenten? She had a fine ass!

Again I was soon knocked out of my perverted stupor, something I had my deceased sensei to thank for, and suddenly my tube was sucked into a larger tube and I was jettisoning towards an unknown destination. I knew I could break out but something told me doing so at such a high speed might cause more problems so I would wait.

And that allowed me to see the entire machine facility as it passed by. There were millions of tubes that I passed by with tentacle like machines occasionally swooping by and making a check on the contained.

I passed by many more machines, some of which I could safely say I wouldn't want to screw around with and others that I simply didn't know what the fuck their purpose was, my tube begun a gradual but sure stop until I was before I massive mainframe.

And then I was unceremoniously dumped out of my tube right before the mainframe at the very moment that thousands of tiny little metal bugs begun to scurry across the floor.

My initial reaction was one I am not proud of.

I screamed like a little girl.

"Do not be afraid, child." A mechanical voice said as the thousand of scurrying metal bugs formed the face of a man with a cool mustache and beard. "You were not brought her for malicious purposes, I can assure you of that."

"What... What are you? Where am I?" I asked as I slowly sat up, looking at the great mechanical face with some fear and trepidation. "Why am I here and what's with all my friends being..."

"Patience, child. I will answer all your questions and more in a moment." The mechanical man stated in a neutral tone. "My purpose for bring you here is to answer these questions and explain to you current situation. So to start I am the Mainframe."

"I maintain and keep everything in this facility in order and running proficiently, most importantly the neural nexus that connects all of your people to the world you believe you had existed in."

"The fuck do ya mean by existed in? I lived there. It existed!" I yelled out the computer, scared and confused at what was going on.

The computer, despite how emotionless it sounded, understood my panic. "I am sorry to say, but that world is nothing but a facade that my AI, artificial intelligences, have created for you and your people to live in a somewhat more peaceful life."

"Peaceful? We're in the middle of a massive war that consumed the entire world!" I again yelled at the computer, angered that I had been taken here.

"I am aware of that and it is unfortunate we no longer have any agents in that world but they simply could control your people." The mainframe stated, almost sighed if it were possible for a computer. "Your people adapted quickly to the virtual world and even begun to affect the coding in the very world around you. By doing so you were even able to destroy and seal away agents therefore making it pointless in creating them."

"Wait... Do you mean to tell me the Juubi was one of these... Agents?" I begun to catch on, if only a little.

"Indeed. His original programming was to keep the world in check and too keep the people of that world from realizing they possessed untold power within them. But due to a programming flaw within him it caused that knowledge to be realized but also it went berserk and I was unable to control it's actions anymore. That is when your people first begun to alter the coding of their world." The mainframe answered.

"Wait..." I continued to process this information little by little. "By affect the coding... You mean sealing?"

"Correct. By doing that your race begun to integrate with the coding and were able to fend of any agent sent in making it pointless in doing so. In the end it was for the best as your people had no intention of ever leaving the world that was created to keep you entrap until..."

"Entrapped? What the hell?!" I screamed yet again as I really didn't like hearing that particular word amongst what he was telling me.

Again if computers could sigh the mainframe would have. "Five-thousand, four hundred and eighty-two years ago a great war broke out between most races of the known universe and your race. In the end the universe won and realized the danger that your race presented and had you confined to a world where you could never interfere with the outside universe again."

"I was created and soon I had this world up and operational. But there was worry that this world could be easily discovered and your people could be released again to reek havoc and destruction upon the universe. So they did use the only way they had to hide your entire existence. They sealed your people and my facility into this Vault and prayed that no one would ever use the Vault Key and awaken your race."

It took me a few moments to digest what the mainframe had said. My initial reaction was of course anger. But a more rational side of me took over and I saw similar parallels in my world were people did very similar acts to stop someone or something.

"So what you are saying is... They had my people sealed away to keep the universe safe." I solemn stated, wanting to make sure I had it right.

"That is correct." The mainframe stated. "Which leaves us with one last problem as I have now answered all of your questions. How to deal with you, the one that used the escape code."

"Escape code?" I immediately jumped on, putting aside on the whole how to deal with me issue, as that was more prevalent in my mind. "I never wanted to leave that world, only to find out it was a fake and that our real world is being stuck in tubes and living off this weird goo!"

"Whether you wanted to leave or not is not the issue. The coding was used on you and you are no longer part of that world and leaves us in our current predicament." The mainframe stated.

"Then why don't you put me back in so that I can stop the 'Escape Code' from being used on everyone and sparing you a world of trouble." I countered as this was not a world I wanted to live in, away from all my friends while they were fighting desperately for their lives.

"I am afraid that is impossible." The mainframe stated and then gave an explanation. "The Escape Code is an end all bit of coding that is download into your neural nexus and allows you freedom from the world. However once the code is released it stays in your nexus and refuses any attempts to integrate you back into the system. I learned this from our attempt to reintegrate you just moments before you awoke and were brought here before me."

I could feel the blood thinning from my face as it slowly dawned on me why I was brought before him. It wasn't because they hadn't tried it was because they failed and had no other option. And that meant...

"I... You mean... I'll never see my friends again?" I stuttered on my own words as it boiled down to it but new life soon filled me. "But if the 'Escape Code' is used on everyone..."

"The one that used the Escape Code, the one you know as Madara, has been neutralized. He is no longer a threat to the facilities' or the world's stability and can no longer use the coding on anyone else." The mainframe stated, cutting the small silver lining I had reached out for.

"No." I sunk into a deeper depression at the thought of never seeing my friends again.

It was almost unbearable. Now I wouldn't get the chance to become Hokage. I couldn't keep teaching Konohamaru and eventually becoming the sensei he deserves. I would never be able to see how my relationships with Sakura or Hinata worked out? It all was...

"Then what if... I destroy you and release them from their imprisonment!" I cried out, new hope filling me as I moved to form the Rasengan.

"That would be adverse to all of your goals, child. Ending my life ends all of theirs for a fail-safe was put in during my creation that if I were to deactivate the lives of all your people would end." The mainframe stated. "Only the opening of this Vault could and would awaken your people. That was the risk the ancients put into sealing your people away from the universe."

"And what if you are lying to save your own hide?" I called him out, hoping it was a bluff as the Rasengan spiraled into life showing me that chakra existed in this world to.

"I have no need to lie to you. It would not benefit either of us." The mainframe stared me down, unafraid of my threat.

I wanted to call it a bluff. I truly did. But there was too much at stake and I let the Rasengan fade. "Then... What is there for me? To live in this mechanical world?! Fuck that!"

"Indeed. That would be adverse to all involved. I, however, have created an alternative solution to this problem." The mainframe stated before a small plate before me rose showing a simple human sized ring made of metal. "This is a gateway. It leads to another world that is habitable for human life."

"If you are willing, I will look past this one incident and allow you safe passage out of here and allow you to integrate with the rest of the universe. From what I can tell of the world outside in this day and age you would fit right in and would hardly be seen as one of the ancient race that nearly brought the universe to ruin."

Frowning, as this was seemingly too convenient, I gazed at the computer before me with distrust. "I thought my race was a danger to them. Why are you so willing to let that danger out onto everyone else?"

"Your race as a whole is a danger. You are not." The mainframe replied. "There is nothing left for you here and your presence will only hinder my work. Besides from outside you have a better chance of releasing your friends than you do here."

"In fact it is your only chance. Find the Vault Key and then find this Vault. Then you may save your friends from this so called imprisonment." The mainframe seemingly called me out, knowing what it was I wanted.

And again I felt it was too convenient. "Just what are you after if you are telling me this?"

The mainframe stayed silent at the question and instead responded by activating the gateway. A black and purplish portal sprung to life and held firm in the ring, an occasional flash of red lighting crossing the portal. It didn't seem stable at the moment and I wasn't for one going to test that by walking through it.

But soon it seemed to stabilize and then, to my surprise, the mainframe's face smiled. "I like observing your people. You are a mystery to me on how you are always capable of doing the impossible and performing miracles when all logic dictates your failure."

"Show me that strength and show me you are like the rest of your people. Perform this impossible task for me and you will get your wish."

I wanted other alternatives. I didn't want to leave. I wanted to be with my friends. But I was provided with only this and just seeing how the computer responded I knew this might be the only chance I got to see my friends again.

Steeling my resolve, I strolled into the portal and with a moment's hesitation I walked through and found myself on a whole new planet, standing before a group of surprise people wearing masks and wearing large black cloaks.

In the buff I might add.

"What the hell is that?!" One of them shouted and immediately I forced to duck as a small projectile fazed by my visage. I wasn't sure what it was but I did know what I did next.

I charged at them as they charged at me, intending to kill me for no reason.

And I killed them instead.

* * *

Three years have passed since that day. I've learned quite a bit about this world since my arrival in the middle of a bandit camp.

The world was Pandora, a shitty hell-hole that no one wanted to be stranded on. Well, almost no one. Despite there being no valuable resource on this planet there was a legend. A legend of a Vault filled with wondrous treasure that no man could believe.

And that was enough for me to call this place home for now. If there was a Vault here it meant it could be the Vault that my friends were locked away in, stuck in their fake world and unknowing of how fun the outside world was...

For those that thought thrill and excitement in killing bandits that at times said the funniest shit ever as you killed them, taking odd missions that had no apparent reason for pay and trying to throw your hotdog down the well known as Moxxi.

Speaking of Moxxi...

"Hey Suga." Moxxi's voice called to me as I yawned and sat up and kept the covers firmly over my legs as I gazed across the room at the said woman. "Time to wake up and get to work."

"Yeah, yeah." I yawned again and stretched out a little bit before getting up, forgetting about the covers and moving to get dressed.

"Looks like your worm is up and ready to catch the early bird." Moxxi grinned as she watched me dress, her eyes focusing on a particular part of my anatomy as I did.

"And the worm is saying the bird was a little rough with him last night and he needs a break." I retorted as I pulled on my undergarments and then followed with my pants.

"I could say the same thing, Suga. My I've never been run through so thoroughly." Moxxi sighed as her idol had been put away before she handed me my pistol. "Heard from my second ex-husband that he's taken a group of Vault Hunters out to the Badlands today."

"I'll pass. Every group he takes out there just comes back dead and I'm usually the one that has to go out and round up their guns from their corpses... Most the time from Skag defecation." I shook my head as most Vault Hunters I saw weren't up to the task and couldn't even take Pandora's wildlife.

And as much of a badass as I was there was even things here I couldn't do on my own. And taking on the Crimson Lance for the Vault was one of those things. Besides I didn't even know where to really begins as the Vault Key was apparently in pieces and you had to find them.

And it just so happened no one knew where they were or even knew that they existed.

"I think you might want to rethink that. This groups got a little something special about it. I can see it." Moxxi grinned with an all knowing look before motioning to me to the window.

So taking a peek outside, to where Marcus had his bus station, I saw four individuals waiting for Marcus to arrive and take them to the Badlands. And for once I was surprised at what I saw. "A Siren?"

"Thought that might catch your attention, hun." Moxxi smirked as she looked out at the group. "Not to mention you have the Soldier Boy over their that looks like he was part of the Lance."

"Lancemen are always well trained. That's why they've been difficult for me to deal with in groups. One an one they're not that special as long as you take out their turret." I stated having had my fair share of dealings with the Lance, usually being the victors of our run ins.

Something I know Commander Steele was seething about.

"The guy with the bird doesn't look like much but I saw him yesterday and boy let me tell you he is a wicked shot. Picked off a Badass Rakk from across the canyon with a single shot to the head." Moxxi pointed out to the one with the beard and the bird on his shoulder. "Not to mention that bird single handily took out the rest of the Rakk on its own."

"Not bad. A good sniper is always good to have around and that bird seems rather handy. But if he relies solely on the rifle it will leave him vulnerable once something gets in close." I responded when Moxxi pointed out the last guy.

"And then we have him... He scares the shit out of me." Moxxi finished as she pointed at the beast of a man standing besides the bus.

I could only whistle as the man was impressive in both stature and his muscles were impressive. Then there was all the scars he had across the body stating he was battle tested and could handle himself. Finally add in he was just sitting their punching his palm as he waited for Marcus...

Intimidating was a good word to describe him.

"Alright... I'm sold. I'll see what this group can do and see if they can get me closer to the Vault." I sighed, knowing it was worth the check.

After all it was one step closer to finding and saving my friends.

"Good luck, Suga." Moxxi waved me off as I exited from the window, jumping out and landing before the bus...

Right in front of Marcus and the group.

"Vault Hunters, huh?" I grinned as I stood to my full height, a head shorter than the imposing one's height.

"Ah, Naruto!" Marcus proclaimed as he grinned at seeing me. "It is good to see you again, my friend. I'm sorry to say I don't have any jobs for you at the current moment but if you come and see in me in a day or two I 'might' just have something for you."

"I'm here to join this little expedition for the Vault, actually." I responded as I kept my gaze focused on the four of them. "If that is alright with you four. I've been seeking the Vault for a while and to be honest I can only get so far on my own."

"Did you just... Jump off a three story building?" The Siren looked a little surprised as she looked at me and the direction I came from and seeing as that was the only building there.

And as I nodded the intimidating one simply laughed. "Goddamn you are awesome! Welcome to the group!"

"Hey wait! We know nothing about him!" The Siren pointed out the obvious.

Only for the sniper to put her down. "Do we really know anything about each other? To be honest I don't even know any of you but it'd be easier to find this Vault with more people so we don't get overrun and eaten on the first day out. So I'm all for it."

"Well when you put it like that... Sure, why not?" The Siren thought about it logically before shrugging and throwing her hands up.

The only one that didn't answer was the former Lancemen. He simply huffed and nodded as the majority had decided anyways.

"Alright! Then it's settled! You're one of us now!" The big one patted Naruto on the shoulder, hard. "The name's Brick!"

I did my best not to yell from the sheer power he put into that pat nearly dislocated my shoulder. This guy had some serious strength!

"Lilith." The Siren introduced herself and shook my hand.

"The name's Mordecai and this little darling here is Bloodwing." The sniper grinned as he rubbed Bloodwing's beak and made her caw happily.

"And mister mysterious there?" I pointed out to the Lancemen that had still yet to say a word.

And before they could answer, he actually responded to my surprise as he figured I was just the silent type. "Roland."

"Cool. I'm Naruto." I grinned, ignoring the throbbing coming from my shoulder. "So let's fire thing up and let's get going!"

"I'm all for that." Lilith nodded as she had been waiting in the heat for far too long. "I came here to kill stuff and I'm not going to be denied that any longer."

"Fair enough. All aboard." Marcus opened the bus' door and sat in the driver seat, letting everyone get on before closing it and calling out the destination. "Next stop, Fyrestone!"

"I hope you all came prepared." Marcus chillingly laughed and left everyone a little uneasy as the bus pulled out and begun it's trek to the Badlands.

* * *

**A/N2**: Cut! This story has been, as I said above, been on my mind for a while. I'm deciding to air it as I've just started it and I'm almost finished with chapter 3 on the third day of writing. I believe I can keep this pace up as the game series as a whole has me enamored and focused on doing this story.

So here is to hoping I can keep the pace up and not get lost again. Also if there are any errors let me know as I can only see so much.

Peace Out.

NOTE: Changed Marcus to Moxxi's second ex-husband for story purposes even though he is technically third in the games. So just go with it. It's fanfiction after all.


	2. Welcome to Fyrestone!

Q and A!

**What is the pairing if there is one?** Frequent question I am mostly getting and I can understand it. Most stories have pairings. This one will not. If there is a pairing set up it will be at **CENSORED FOR SPOILERS**. For now, Naruto occasionally *cough* sleeps with Moxxi as she has her eyes set on him. Will that last... I dunno. It's Moxxi. She's fickle as if you couldn't tell with how many husbands she's had and guys she has slept with on the side.

**Is it a harem?** If the first answer didn't answer, I will here. No.

**Does that mean Naruto sleeps around?** Valid question and the answer is no. Moxxi took his V-card and he's been putting it in that well and only that well since. Also I forgot to add a particular character in at that point now that I thought about it but oh well.

**Marcus was Moxxi Third Husband.** Thanks as I did not remember exactly which husband he was! I'm horrible with remembering small details like that! However we both know who number two was so I'm going to make a minor adjustment for hey, this is fan fiction! He is now number 2 and that other particular person shall remain with bullet in his skull... At the right time.

**Update soon! Best crossover ever!** Not a question but I will answer it! Thank you very much! And the update is here!

* * *

(Play Ain't No Rest for the Wicked by Cage the Elephant and/or Watch Borderlands' Opening Sequence to get a better visual)

In the middle of a wasteland desert, a lone bus drove through on it's way to the center of the wasteland. It kept going even as a lone skag trotted crossed it's passed, slamming it into the bumper and hanging onto it before it eventually slid off to the side leaving only a skid mark of blood on the bumper.

"Alright back there, time to wake up back there." Marcus called out. "It's a beautiful day full of opportunity! Fyrestone depot is our stop. You might want to stretch before you get out."

A loud yawn filled the bus as Naruto lifted his head from the side of the window and shook the cobwebs out of his head. "Damn this thing is slow... Where are we?"

"He just... Oh! You actually were sleeping." Lilith started before realizing Naruto had just woke up. "We're nearly at our destination. Might want to stretch before we get off at our stop."

"Right." Naruto yawned again, standing up against the rocking of the bus and cranked his neck and warming up his shoulders before finally holding out his hand before him and forming a Rasengan, inspecting it to make sure it was adequate to his standards.

"_What'd you expect, runt?_" The familiar voice of Kurama, his AI connect to her neural nexus, spoke in his mind. "_It's not like your going to forget how to use it or it will suddenly explode in your face. Most of your powers still work just like they did in the matrix._"

"_Just a precaution... And to make sure all of that wasn't a dream._" Naruto responded his former bijuu, now an AI that had the power in this world outside of connecting to any data network and hacking it for him.

Rather useful ability actually now that he thought about it.

"Well ain't that something... What does it do?" Mordecai said as he looked at the spiraling orb of energy in Naruto's hand, his curiosity hidden by his mask.

"Destroys pretty much anything it makes contact with and turns it to rubble and shrapnel." Naruto let it dissolve harmlessly. "So just was it you can do?"

"Nothing so spectacular. I'm just a good shot, have a trusty partner that can take care of herself and if anything get's in close I am rather handy with knife." Mordecai responded before he decided to draw his knife and give a small display of nimbleness with the blade.

Naruto simply whistled as he was pretty quick with the knife. He had seen much faster back home but it comparison to many people in this place he had quick hands. And if his shot was good as Moxxi said he'd be quite the force.

"Well if we're showing off, allow me." Lilith grinned before her body glowed a purple and white aura as she walked down the isle of the bus, literally disappearing for a moment before reappearing in the front of the bus. "Top that!"

Naruto was slightly alarmed, for it reminded him quite a bit of Obito's Kamui, before he simply grinned. "I think I can but not on this bus. Rather make it to our destination in one piece... How about you Soldier Boy?"

Roland simply raised an eyebrow at Naruto and pushed the ninja away as he really wasn't in the mood to show off. "I don't waste unnecessary effort on extraneous and pointless endeavors."

Naruto simply blinked at Roland's choice of words, for it took him a moment to register what the Soldier had said, before shrugging his shoulders. "Fair enough. You seem ready to go to work anyways."

"As am I! I can't wait to smash some bandit skulls in!" Brick stated as he punched his palm with an intimidating grin on his face.

Naruto, Mordecai and Lilith slowly leaned away from the massive scarred man that seemed a little too intent on killing people. They did because each of these bandits were insane, criminals and cannibals and would eat them if they didn't kill them first.

Brick just seemed excited to get out and kill something.

"Yeah... A little too ready for my tastes." Naruto grimaced before shaking the thought out of his head. "So I was thinking... We each special in a certain area of combat so in turn we should probably split any weapons we find to the person most capable of wielding them."

"Good ideal. I don't want brag or anything but I am a damn good shot so I would like to stick with the sniper rifle. The one I've got isn't really that great to begin with and I'm sure once we get out there I'll find something I'll like."

"My fists are good enough for me!" Brick laughed, unknowingly intimidating mostly everyone in the bus as he did. "But if you find anything that explodes just hand them over! I love explosions!"

"We'll take that into consideration." Roland spoke with trepidation before getting involved into the conversation, as this one he believed prudent. "I mostly trained with assault rifles and shotguns. I'm willing to share any we fine as I'm sure those weapons will be quite common outside of pistols but I would like to stay adequately equipped to deal with any threat we may run across."

"They are pretty common so we'll distribute those equally but we'll give you first dibs on those we find." Naruto nodded for those weapons were commonly seen on the average bandit. "I'm good with my pistol for now but I kind of like to keep searching to see if there are any better. A blue level 7 pistol is good but..."

"Whoa, whoa. Blue level 7 pistol... What does that mean?" Lilith questioned as she wasn't sure what Naruto was talking about and thought a gun was just a gun.

Naruto blinked at her for a moment before his mouth quirked in that knowing expression before he nodded. "Right... You don't have the Head's Up Display yet. Okay let me fill you in a bit here."

"These HUDs work together with your ECHO devices and give you some of the basic necessities like a built in compass and will mark your destination with a way point so you know the general direction your goal is located in. Everything on Pandora is logged into the Dahl mainframe so they can keep an eye on everything... Not that they do anymore but that was their point."

"Every bandit even has these things so when they are near they'll show up as red dots on your compass giving you the approximate location they're in..."

"Wait. Why does every bandit have them and why don't they just take them off so they don't get picked off by any person passing with a HUD." Mordecai halted Naruto's explanation as he didn't quite understand why.

"Because mostly everyone on this planet originally worked for the Dahl Corporation before they pulled out and the majority went insane and became cannibals. Those that didn't simply found them and use them for they are quite useful." Naruto explained before he sighed and shook his head. "For why they don't take them off and go off grid so they can't be monitored... They're stupid as hell."

"Anyways as I was getting to, it also shows the caliber of each weapon which is registered to the mainframe by level and color due to how strong it is and it's rarity. The higher a weapon's level the stronger it is while the colors goes as such for rarity; white, green, blue, purple and orange with white being very common and orange being a one of a kind weapon. And usually a weapon of a rarer color is stronger than a more common weapon of the same class and level."

"So basically these HUDs act as on the field intelligence report." Roland said, rather impress with the technology. "So how do we get one as they sound extremely useful."

Naruto started a response, as they should have been given one already before remembering the CL4P-TP unit had been used as target practice and therefore no longer operational and could not give them out anymore. And at that his faced fell realizing they would have to be integrated by _that_ unit.

"Let me make a call." Naruto groaned as he got on his ECHO recorder. "_Kurama, connect me with __that__ Claptrap._"

"_Oh hell no!_" Kurama barked back. "_I'm not losing anymore brain cells by listening to that little bastard!_"

"_Kurama, you don't have brain cells and can't lose them. Put me through. This is important_" Naruto mentally sighed at his AI as he didn't want to commune with that unit either.

"_Fine... But if I start getting dumber by his mere presence I'm plaguing you with sexual fantasies of all your old friends!_" Kurama grumbled before reaching out into the data network and connecting to the one CL4P-TP unit no one wanted to talk with.

"_It's a risk I'm willing to take._" Naruto sighed as he felt the line go through. "Hey, Claptrap. I need a favor..."

"NARUTO! HOW ARE YOU DOING, BUDDY?!" Claptrap excitedly responded at hearing Naruto's voice.

Naruto cringed at the volume of the unit's voice, his pain being expressed vividly to the others. "Inside voice, idiot!"

"Oh! Sorry about that!" Claptrap, still excited that someone was talking to him, apologized for. "I tend to forget that if I can't see you I don't have to yell for you to hear me."

"_Damn robot... Can we kill them off, please?_" Kurama pleaded with Naruto.

Naruto currently ignored his AI for as much it felt like a good ideal he figured it would come back to haunt them somehow. Instead he focused on his current goal. "Hey, how many Dahl HUD units do you have right now?"

"Um... Let me see. One... Two... Three... I've got four!" Claptrap stalled for a minute before manually counting the units he possessed. "Do you need any? But I thought you already have one! Did you break yours again?!"

"No... I have four friends that need one. Can you meet us at the bus station near Fyrestone?" Naruto asked of the unit even if that meant he had to spend time around the annoying machine.

"Oh so you're on that bus that's pulling up here! I'll see you soon then, buddy!" Claptrap excitedly stated before hanging up, leaving Naruto quite mortified.

Claptrap was waiting for them at the bus stop already. That meant... Marcus had already put in the call before.

"YOU FUCKING SUCK SKAG DICK, MARCUS!" Naruto yelled at the Gun merchant for no apparent reason to the others.

"That's for sleeping with my wife." Marcus commented as he pulled the bus into the Fyrestone station. "Consider yourself lucky that you are quite useful to me, boy. Otherwise I would have already hired someone to kill you."

"You've been divorce for over a year now." Naruto growled as he was still quite annoyed that he made that call for no reason and alerted Claptrap to his presence here for no reason.

"And you've been sleeping with her for two years. Now get off my bus." Marcus opened the door and made the motion for them to leave. "And if I may offer the rest of you some friendly advice. You won't get very far on just whatever you loot from the dead or storages. I offer the best selection of weapons on Pandora and if you ever need a new gun or some ammo stop by one of my digital vendors to buy some for a... Reasonable price."

"More like a marked up price as you're the one of the few vendors left anymore." Naruto mumbled as he slowly stood up.

"And I have you to thank for that, my boy. That's why I haven't had you killed yet." Marcus grinned as they made their way to the front of the bus.

"Don't be alarmed." Naruto, and if he had a gut hunch just from their reactions, the other Vault Hunters, heard a voice through their ECHO communicators before an image of a beautiful young woman appeared before their eyes. "I need you to stay calm and don't let on that someone is talking to you."

"Start making your way off way off the bus. You don't have any reason to trust me but I need you to believe me that I am here to help guide you... I am here to help you find the Vault." She continued as they all slowly made their way off the bus, keeping passive as they passed by Marcus.

"In a moment, you will be greeted by a funny little robot. Do everything he says. You'll know what I mean when it happens. I'll contact you again soon." She finished before disappearing from their communicators, making them all feel a little uneasy about what just happened.

More so for Naruto as he narrowed his eyes and communed with his AI. "_Kurama, track down where that communication came from. I want to know just who the hell thinks they can hack my devices and get away with. Ally or not I don't like someone with that kind of power._"

"_Way ahead of you, brat. You won't here anything from me for a while as I track this skaglick down._" Kurama stated as he dived into the network around the planet, intent on finding this woman that hacked his human's ECHO.

"Alright... I want to make sure I'm not the only one that just got that message." Mordecai said out loud, wanting to be confirmed he wasn't crazy as the bus pulled out and drove away.

"I think we all received it." Roland announced for he wasn't too comfortable about it either. "Someone must be monitoring us."

"I'm having it looked into. I don't like the ideal of being tracked by someone I don't know or even worse, someone I do." Naruto responded as he informed his comrades that he was on the job and by _he_ he meant Kurama.

That just didn't need to know that.

"How? You didn't make a call or anything." Lilith asked, curious on just how he was looking into it.

"That is not your concern. I think I deserve to keep a few secrets after the damn affair that went down on the bus." Naruto twitched as he still found that pretty damn annoying.

"And about that." Lilith continued on, wanting a little more clarification so she could keep her eye on him. "You aren't some kind of... Man-whore or anything like that, are you?"

"Hell no. She came up to me and I ended falling for her advances... And ever since I've been throwing my hotdog down that well for some reason I can't explain." Naruto nervously scratched the back of his head and chuckled.

"Argh! Too much information!" Mordecai grimaced and made the motion to vomit in disgust at the thought.

"Go on." Brick stepped up with a smirk, wanting to hear more about Naruto's sexual encounters with Moxxi.

"HEY BUDDY!" Naruto heard the voice of the one thing he didn't want to see at the moment and looked across the dusty street to see it roll in his general directions.

"And all of a sudden I want a lobotomy." Naruto groaned and hung his head at the sight of Claptrap.

Ignoring Naruto's sulking form, Roland took point and greeted the 'funny' little robot. Or he tried to but Claptrap beat him to it. "Hello there! I am a CL4P-TP steward bot! You may call me by my locally designated name, Claptrap."

"Here! Take these Heads Up Display units free of charge from the Dahl Corporation." Claptrap continued without a care in the world, handing out one to the Vault Hunters before rolling to Naruto. "I missed you at my birthday party just the other day! I called you but I guess you were too busy to come!"

"Yes... Busy." Naruto didn't even try to make an excuse and accepted the reasons why Claptrap believed he didn't show for the birthday party.

In reality he was sitting with Moxxi watching people get slaughtered in the Underdome. Well he was watching... She was busy with a certain part of his anatomy...

"I figured as much! I knew my best friend wouldn't miss my party for no reason! Anyways you're here now so we can throw it today!" Claptrap exclaimed leaving Naruto visibly pale and thoughts of suicide begun to run through his mind.

"But before that, would you all follow me! I've got something to show you!" Claptrap stated and rolled off, not having a care in the world that they didn't get a word in edge wise.

Mordecai simply patted Naruto on the back. "Don't worry. I can pick him off from here if you want."

"As wonderful as that would be... That little bastard has his useful moments every now and then that keep his little ass alive and because of that I can't kill the damn thing. He might just come in handy again." Naruto sighed as Claptrap just kept finding a way to save himself every time he thought about destroying the abdominal machine.

"So basically he's one of those friends that you keep around for their usefulness but one of those that you otherwise don't want to socialize with." Lilith put it in laymen's terms.

"Yeah... Friend." Naruto said slowly and with as much sarcasm as he could muster before he then grinned at Lilith. "Oh! Just a safe word of precaution as you are the only female in the group... Guard you legs. He might try to hump them later."

"That little bastard dead." Lilith pulled her SMG from her holster and aimed at the retreating back of CL4P-TP unit known as Claptrap.

"Can we just go see what he wants and move on?" Roland took the roll of the leader of this hopeless group and begun to wonder if he couldn't get more done on his own than with this insane bunch.

"In a minute." Naruto waved Roland off before pointing off the only building in the area. "I've got a storage device on the roof over there with a few weapons in it. I've got some weapons in there you guys might like."

"Sounds good enough for me!" Brick grinned as he headed towards the building with Naruto and Mordecai, interested in seeing if there was a better sniper than the one he had.

Lilith simply shrugged and looked over at Roland. "Might as well."

Roland kept his composure but nodded as it wasn't an entire waste to do so. There might just be something in it that he could use.

After a few plat-forming jumps Roland and Lilith made on the roof top as Naruto open his larger than normal storage device and Brick's jaw dropped at the beautiful sight inside. "Is that a..."

"Yup." Naruto grinned as Brick reached in and pulled out a Rocket Launcher, a Torgue Rocket Launcher.

Naruto swore if the company president had his way every weapon he made would fire explosive rounds instead of having a rather well balanced gun with considerable power.

If Brick's face could light up any more it would probably exploded. "This is the best day ever! I get to punch things to death and blow shit up! AHAHA!"

"So... What does this little screen that pops up on when you look at a weapon?" Mordecai stated as he looked at it, trying to decipher what he was reading while ignoring Brick's insane laughter. "I get some of it but just how does this device know exactly how strong the weapon is, how accurate it is and it's fire rate?"

"As I said every weapon is digitally registered into the mainframe. Therefore, as long as it has been used before, it judges by the damage the weapon is capable of inflicting again monitored targets, how much recoil the weapon has which can affect accuracy and judge how fast it can fire. Then it will compare it to whatever weapon you are currently holding and show what aspects the weapon is better or worse."

"But be warned sometimes the weapon can have a special trait to it that takes away from it overall abilities." Naruto explained as Mordecai nodded in understanding before grinning as he drew out a Jakobs sniper rifle which probably meant he was very confident in his own accuracy as Jakobs weapons were meant for one thing and one thing only.

Power.

"Then this baby should be awesome." Mordecai looked through the scope and his grin simply widened. "Pretty stable too. I might just have to keep this for a while once I get a feel for the recoil."

"It should do for a while. I know there are better out there but there is so much I still have yet to explore." Naruto mentioned as both Roland and Lilith came over to examine the chest.

And immediately Roland lifted a Shotgun out of it and for the first time since he met the soldier, he smiled. "Now this is something. It's lightweight, a major plus, and supposedly it has a quick reload time."

"That's a Tediore weapon for you as they are designed to be reloaded with unbelievable speed. I swear if they get any faster on their reload speed you'd just be throwing the gun away and a new one materialize in your hands." Naruto commented as he found Tediore weapons quite useful when bullets needed to be sprayed faster and taking your time to reload wasn't an option.

That happened to be quite often actually.

"Good to know." Roland said as he placed the shotgun on his back. "I mostly worked with Dahl and Atlas weaponry but they just didn't know how to make decent shotguns."

"Sounds like them. Both of those companies usually focus on assault rifles and submachine guns for their focus is low recoil while keeping the power. Atlas is just better at it and now I hear Dahl is working on making all their weapons shoot in burst to distinguish themselves again." Naruto added before noting what Lilith drew from the chest.

"Oh I know how you work know." Naruto grimaced as he noticed a Maliwan SMG in her grasp and this one happened to have the elemental type of corrosion. "Remind me not to piss you off. You're starting to scare me more than Brick."

"Well what's that saying... Hell have no fury like a woman scorned? I'm the living testament to that." Lilith grinned and held a psychotic grin on her face that even made Brick a little weary of the Siren.

It all was thankfully put an end by Claptrap's extremely high pitch wailing. "JUST FOLLOW THE SOOTHING SOUND OF MY VOICE!"

"I'm killing the damn thing." Lilith stated as a fact and turned her sights to the spot where Claptrap was, not caring that it was quite a distance away and with her weapon it would probably take a spray of bullets to hit the unit.

"Wait... Why is he standing by the New-U station? That thing hasn't been operational since I've gotten to this planet." Naruto blinked in confusion as he honestly didn't know if what he heard about in rumors were true or not.

"New-U?" Roland questioned and when Naruto shrugged he put his hand on Lilith's hands and made her lower her weapon. "Maybe it has something to do with what he wanted to show us. Let's go find out."

Ignoring Naruto's sigh of impending doom, the Vault Hunters left the roof top after closing the storage unit and gathered to Claptrap.

Claptrap, in response to being paid attention to by so many people at once, tried to show off. "This is the New-U station! Activate it and your DNA will be recorded into the mainframe so in the unfortunate but likely event of your death a clone of you will respawn at the last station you passed by with all of your former memories and weapons you previously had!"

"Wait!" Naruto jumped on this in a hurry. "First off, how is that physically possible? Secondly why did this thing just suddenly turn on as it wasn't on the last time I was here? Finally, how do you know about what this thing does?"

"Um... I don't know!" Claptrap answer all three questions with a single answer, leaving all the Vault Hunters to sigh in exasperation.

"One moment please." Roland spoke for the group and they formed a small huddle with a little distance between them and Claptrap. "Naruto... Is it true that this New-U station has not been active until just now."

"Most definitely. Do you realize how many people would try and use something like this if they knew it existed. Every single one of them would if they could... Something's not right." Naruto answered as he had a sinking suspicion that someone with a high degree of skill with tech was involved and that person wanted them to find the Vault for their own reasons.

And that was not a good thing even if it was the Vault with his friends and family stored within.

"Well isn't that just something." Mordecai blandly stated as he was with Naruto and Roland on this one. "We'd probably wouldn't have even second guessed it if you hadn't mentioned it but to hear that leaves me... Unsettled."

"Someone is using us. I don't like being used." Lilith hissed as being used was something she could not tolerate, knowing that Sirens were hunted down and captured to be used for their powers.

However there was one member of the group that didn't really seem to care. His name was Brick.

"I don't see the problem with this." Brick stated causing the other four to glare at him. "I mean it is a great offer so we should take it and use it to our advantage. If we die, we basically get revived from the sound of it. And that way we can keep the search for whoever is pulling the strings while we looked for the Vault. They might just come out of hiding if we do."

The other four took a moment to mull Brick's line of thought for a moment before Roland spoke for them as a whole. "That actually is good plan. All in favor?"

"I don't see the harm in it. Whoever this is though really wants us alive for some reason and that still bothers me but we'll find out soon enough." Mordecai nodded as for now he'd go along with it.

"I'm in the same boat so count me in." Lilith threw her weight behind the plan.

Naruto was still a little more reserved about the whole situation. He didn't want to give anyone access to his DNA and there were so many other possibilities to consider. Like what if his existence ended and the new him carried on like he would but he no longer existed.

Then what would happen to Kurama? If he passed and he was simply put back in a clone of his recent body would Kurama be locked into that dead body or would he simply be freed into the digital world and if it was the latter that was a scary thought. An AI of his caliber could cause a lot of problems and he frankly would just for the sake of causing them.

His AI was a bit of a dick.

Still despite all of that he agreed. It was the best bet they had to draw out whoever was pulling the strings. "Yeah, yeah. I'm in. But I rather not have to test how this thing works if I can avoid it. I rather not experience death if I can avoid it."

"Definitely." Roland agreed entirely as the others, Brick included, nodded before returning to Claptrap. "We're ready now."

"Wow! You're talking to me and I didn't even have an exclamation or question mark over my head! This is the best day ever!" Claptrap cried out happily.

Everyone but Naruto blinked in confusion as the said individual groaned. "Something the HUD displays. If someone or something has a job to take or a mission to be turned in they will be marked with an exclamation or question mark over they're head so you know where to go and who to talk to or what to activate."

"And you just got excited because... Someone talked to you when you didn't have one of those marks?" Lilith asked before flinching at Claptraps nod. "Wow. Your life sucks. Sounds even worse than my life when I was in school and bullies made fun of me."

"Um... I'll speak for the rest of the guys here." Naruto said out loud as all their attention was brought to Lilith. "Why in the world would anyone want to bully such a beautiful young woman."

"My markings." Lilith sighed as she motioned to the blue tattoos that covered her left side of her body. "That and I use to be nerd and play Bunkers and Badasses but that's besides the point..."

"Da hell is Bunkers and Badasses?" Naruto asked as he wasn't sure what it was.

"It's a game where you create fictional characters with your friends and go on a made up adventure that will take you as far as your imagination will allow you as long as the dice don't screw you over." Roland surprisingly answered, leaving all the other guys stunned and Lilith with hearts in her eyes and he ignored all of their looks and walked to the station. "I think we've stalled long enough. I'll go first."

And with that Roland activated the New-U station and after it scanned him, he raised his eyebrow. "It seems all you have to do is enter your name and then choose the color of your clothing."

"Huh... I was expecting something to pop out and take a physical sample of your blood to recreate you later." Mordecai stated before he activated it and shrugged his shoulder. "Whatever. If it was that easy I would have just got it over and done with."

Soon Lilith and Brick followed leaving only Naruto to activate the machine. He still had a little trepidation but finally he did so and as the station scanned him. And to his surprise it didn't do anything strange, like he expected it to like malfunction or blow up, and he input his name and then grinned.

And at that moment all of his clothing, which was a simple brown t-shirt and blood stained grey pants, were now orange, almost auburn in tint, with the pack on his thigh turned blue. "Finally! I can find clothing in my colors!"

"Yes and they scream to me, shoot me! Shoot me right where I'm standing! I'm right here! Shoot me!" Lilith mocked his choice of clothing.

Naruto simply grinned at her in response, making her feel a little uneasy as he didn't take offense to her comment. "I'll take that as a complement from someone that has hair that just happens to be my favorite color!"

"It's not that bright... Is it?" Lilith cringed as she brought a lock of her hair to her eyesight and cursed. "Shit. It is a little darker but still..."

"You do realize that was a complement. I like that color." Naruto tried to reach Lilith but she seemingly ignored him, enamored by her hair.

"Great! Now if you would, follow me and I'll show you to the resident of Fyrestone!" Claptrap stated, completely ignoring that Naruto was there and could lead them to Fyrestone himself.

In fact he would have preferred it that way but the other four followed the damn Hyperion bot forcing him to. However Mordecai still had a question. "There is only one resident here in Fyrestone? That doesn't seem like much of a town."

"Most of the others either were killed in bandit raids or fled to New Haven outside of Zed. There was another guy that stuck it out here but he started dealing in weapons and well... Marcus didn't like that and I was hired." Naruto stated before ending it with a shake of his head and a nervous chuckle. "That was my first job here on Pandora."

"You don't really have to be ashamed of that. We're all guns for hire and that's what we came to do here outside of searching for this 'Vault' that brings people here." Mordecai stated as it wasn't anything they wouldn't do.

"That's just it. I didn't... Kill him per say. He kind of blew himself up." Naruto kind of laughed at the situation now that he thought of it. "Simply put he shot at me with a fire pistol, every shot missing wildly around me as he charged and as I moved to the side and pulled out my gun he tripped... And fired a shot right into the propane tank right next to him, blowing himself up along with his shop."

"Wow... That's a memorable first job." Mordecai realized why Naruto was so trepid about his first job as he really didn't do much in it.

"That sounds awesome! There was fire and explosions involved! What's not to like!" Brick threw his two cents as he thought how that job turned out.

"And it was easy pay. What's not to like?" Lilith shrugged as that sounded like one of the easiest jobs ever. "Anyone else here hear that?"

"OH NO! BANDITS! RRRRUUUUNNNNN!" Claptrap screamed and ran over to a small entrance, seemingly designed for a CL4P-TP unit, embedded into the rusty metal outpost and slammed a sheet of metal over the hole.

At that very moment two Road Runners jumped the mound of rusted metal over the gate leading into Fyrestone and crashed down on the other side, racing by and heading straight into town. Then two more made the jump with the third drive by like the others and the four stayed behind, spinning in circles and shooting bullets every direction.

"Take cover!" Roland ordered as he jumped behind the metallic portion of the fence as bullets flew through the rickety gate and everyone else followed suit, Naruto jumping on the top of the outpost pulled a grenade from his belt and was ready to throw it.

And at that very moment the propane tank near the car exploded and it zoomed off to join the others that had drove by earlier.

So as he set the grenade back to his belt and called it was all clear, Naruto sighed while Roland again took charge. "I think from this moment on we need to cut down on the chatter and focus more on our surroundings. That could have been worse."

"Is everything alright out there?" Claptrap's voice came from behind his shielded covering before he slid the covering to the side and sighed in relief, coming out of his hidey-hole and went to the control panel for the gate. "I really hate those bandits. They use us Claptrap units in ways we were not intended to be used."

"Being used as target practice and strapped to bombs is not part of our programming." Claptrap stated before finally getting the code to work. "And open!"

"Wow... I'm starting to feel more pity for this guy by the second. It almost makes me want to forget he's annoying and his voice hurts to listen to." Lilith commented as she gave the bot a quick glance of pity.

"Don't. The moment you do he might just take advantage of it and you'll be screwed for life... Like me." Naruto stated before he almost wanted to cry as he did give Claptrap pity and now the bot wouldn't leave him alone.

Getting ECHO calls from Claptrap in the middle of having sex with Moxxi was a serious mood killer.

"Alright... Let's liberate Fyrestone." Naruto drew his pistol and his fellow Vault Hunters followed suit as three bandits came running at them firing their pistols blindly.

They never stood a chance.

* * *

**A/N**: And here we go. I begun to realize that instead of being action oriented as part of me originally thought this story would be it starting out to be more dialogue driven and in a sense that is a good thing. Borderlands has always been humorous although I had to admit the first one was rather bland in that there hardly any dialogue outside of written text, something Borderlands 2 fixed. That and the second game put so much more of the first game into perspective and made you go OH! That's what was happening!

As you can tell I'm using some in game material and using it for my own resources. The main part being the New-U station as I always, for story telling purposes, found that really odd that others would die and not be respawned save Bosses but even then the story made it seem like they didn't exist anymore and that they were around simply for more experience. Why would these four have something that made them nigh invincible while they were on a journey for this Vault.

The answer is someone wanted them to find it, something you learner later for those that have played the series know is true. Obviously I spelled it out here so even those that didn't know there is someone behind it but will have sit and wait to figure out who or go play the games themselves.

Seriously if you haven't played them... Da fuck man, da fuck? Favorite game of all time and I truly thought nothing could top Disgaea: Hour of Darkness, the original Pokemon Red and Blue and Final Fantasy 6. 2 blew them out of the water and gave me more respect for the first game as it was a great a set up for 2 and it made you look at the first game from a different perspective.

Now for something else I found rather weird that regards the young woman, Angel. We later learn her powers focus around tech so which leaves me to wonder how she actually contacted the Vault Hunters before they got their ECHO communicators and HUDs. From what we know they didn't have them so how did Angel contact them? Well I answered it in this story by saying they already had their ECHO but didn't have the HUD add-on to it.

Problem solved.

Anyways, I believe this story has my attention well enough that I should be able to stick with it and see it through and **CENSORED FOR SPOILERS**. Seriously, I'll be either writing this, going to work or playing Borderlands 1 & 2 which will encourage me to write this anyways. And considering I've been farming Lv50 Legendaries from Captain Blades' treasure room I'll get back on track with this!

This might be the first story ever to have the entirety of my attention deficit SQUIRELL! brain's focus. Even if I get a new game for a while once I'm finished I just go back to Borderlands so this story actually makes sense for me to try and write.

So here to the hope I can keep going on something for the first time since Blood Naruto!

Peace Out!


End file.
